


the will to try

by wonniesbb (floweryoonn)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Angst with a Happy Ending, Background DICE (Dangan Ronpa), Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, character analysis in disguise, maybe saimami, mostly focused on shuichi's mystery, platonic oumami, platonic though - Freeform, saiouma is endgame, shuichi is hiding something
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28679793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floweryoonn/pseuds/wonniesbb
Summary: kokichi hated boring people and things, which is why he was so overly excited to get to know the new student in his class. what he thought would be a simple relation changed when he realised shuichi was hiding more than he showed. through struggles to get over his own fears and worries, kokichi learns to trust. finally breaking the chains of his past, shuichi learns the will to try. they learn and grow with each other, overcoming any troubles that face them on the way.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> 90% of this is extremely self indulgent and based on hcs LOL sorey <3

kokichi felt a shiver run down his entire body; he felt like his soul was quite literally trying to break its way through his skin. since when was this stingy old corridor so cold? he had been studying at his school for just over a year now, but he figured he would never get used to the ridiculously pathetic heating. truly, his school’s budget was laughable. he hated the cold. it was boring. nothing could possibly be more boring than the cold. kokichi slept in the cold, woke up in the cold, walked from his dorm to his classroom in the cold, sat in the two-hour lecture in the cold, and walked back to his dorm in the cold. 

well, it makes more sense to say kokichi hated boring and mundane routines. the cold just happened to fall under that category, along with things like people who ask ‘how are you’ as conversation starters, and cereal, apparently. every day he would find excuses to create some strange disruption in his classroom, to keep himself from going crazy with boredom - his rule of thumb was if he did not come home with either a very funny story, or a great scolding from his roommate, his day had simply been far too ordinary.

so it was no surprise to anyone when kokichi, hands in pockets with a leaned-back, careless posture, used his right foot to kick the doors to his classroom open. his teacher could only send him a tired attempt at a condescending stare. happily, kokichi showed off his signature sly grin and took a hand out of a pocket to wave hello to his classmates - you know, like some sort of celebrity. pausing for a moment, kokichi calculated his plan for the lesson. he had already tormented nearly his entire classroom, sending his classmates, student by student, to excessive anger management sessions from having to deal with his antics. there was barely anything fun left to do. plus, it was well known that one lesson next to him was enough to make him your sworn enemy. either that or send you home crying. needless to say, he was avoided or hated (rather justifiably) by most of his classmates.

kokichi’s eyes barely bothered to register all the boring objects and scenery in the classroom: slightly open windows streaky with dust, with green curtains covering them, tables set up in rows with space for the teacher to walk in the middle of the classroom, the dirty carpet floors with stains and chewing gum permanently rubbed in like some vile sty, and the large digital whiteboard at the front with the date, a lesson title and some notes which most students were busy copying down. then, his eyes fell onto something that made his entire being itch with excitement.

a new student, sat by the furthest back window seat.

he had never seen the boy in his life before, so kokichi was fairly sure he was new. or at least, new to the history course. the boy had hair that reminded kokichi of ripe blueberries. it formed a cute round shape with only a little section of hair poking out from just underneath his black hat like a little berry stem, with one pointed bang falling gently on top of his upturned and rounded cherry-like nose. a few stray strands which had fallen loose from the hat hid messily near his cheeks, while the rest of his hair framed the sides of his pale face. despite looking almost like a newly adopted puppy, his facial expression was straight and stoic. his gaze was far away; his mind most definitely lost in some sort of deep, important thought. his matter-of-fact aura was reflected by his clothing: he wore a simple black turtleneck with a few silver necklaces (padlock pendants and small chains) and equally dark and sleek black trousers with thin vertical white stripes. kokichi could see a small glimmer, which he assumed to be a large chain hanging around his waist, acting as a belt. finishing the look, the boy had draped his long black blazer-like coat around the back of his chair. kokichi was a very good judge of character, his two favourite subjects in school had been history and psychology for as long as he could remember, and he was extremely instinctive. so, he knew upon seeing that boy, he would most definitely be having a lot of fun this term. he only hoped that the school therapist was ready for more anger management classes. or a crying blueberry boy.

kokichi plastered on his prankster persona and approached the boy with a preppy strut.  
“hey, emo boy, is this seat taken?” the boy didn’t react to kokichi’s assigned nickname and didn’t even bother to lift his chin from his palm where it was resting. instead, he looked up at kokichi and smiled politely.

“i didn’t think this class had assigned seats?” kokichi internally raised an eyebrow. that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. he expected maybe an irritated ‘fuck off’ or an overly shy ‘why, yes, of course not master, have a seat’. not whatever that strange reaction was.

“hehe! of course not, i was lying! you see, i was trying to test your knowledge of the school.” kokichi didn’t even falter, coming back with another silly comment.

“of course,” the boy smiled more and closed his eyes as he did so. kokichi thought it was a shame, that stupid hat didn’t even let him see the boy’s eye colour. “but either way you can sit here. i don’t really know anyone here, so it’s not like it’s reserved for any friends.”

kokichi noted: he was correct. the boy was a new student and knew no one, and kokichi had the great honour to be his first impression of the school. oh, what glorious fun.

“hm… i see. so, why are you new? did you get in trouble with the police for some murder and only just got out of prison? oo! or even better, did you have a secret affair with a teacher at your old school that forced you to move?” kokichi sat down in the chair next to the boy as he teased him, grin growing stupidly bigger from each taunt.

“uh, no, nothing of that sort. i was just taking a break from school until now, that’s all.”

kokichi dramatically gasped for effect.

“that sounds so boring!” he dragged out the vowel in ‘so’, “i could never be away from school.”

the boy must have decided his remark was not important, as he simply ignored kokichi. he opened his spiral notebook and focused instead on getting down the notes kokichi had noticed on the whiteboard earlier.

“hey, just so you know, i’m definitely going to be stealing all your notes. make them extra pretty for your favourite prankster, mhm?” his tone rose at the end, mimicking a mother giving their absentminded child an instruction. if the boy was offended by this, he definitely didn’t let it show. “oh come on emo boy! you barely talk! if we’re going to be acquainted like this at least tell me your name.”

“if i tell you my name will you stop calling me emo boy? it’s not a very creative nickname. i’ve heard it multiple times before.” kokichi faked a pensive look.

“only if i think your name is more fun to say!”

“fine.” the boy sighed, “my name is shuichi saihara.”

“hm… saihara-chan! i like it.” shuichi turned his face in a split second to face kokichi, shooting him the most deadpanned expression he could possibly muster.

kokichi grinned to himself once again, satisfied with his progress with shuichi. it had only been a few minutes and he was already pissed off! he leaned back in his chair and started twirling one of the pointy sections of his purple hair around his fingers, tying little knots and untying them to keep himself entertained in the silence of the classroom. such boring students, actually copying down those easy notes. kokichi was a hundred steps ahead!

“it’s hardly fair that you know my name and i don’t know yours.” shuichi timidly yet stoically spoke.

“oh! you’re right, saihara-chan! my name is katy perry!” after seeing that giggle-inducing deadpanned expression once again, kokichi chuckled, “sorry, sorry, that was a lie! my name is kokichi ouma.”

they ended the conversation there, a silent agreement left hanging on their lips that they had enjoyed the chat. kokichi resumed trying to spot how he could disturb the class for the next half an hour, while the class was still silently working. he stole some scissors from the random girl sat next to him, on his left, and launched them straight at the whiteboard. well, he made sure to aim only slightly off so he would not actually have to pay for any damaged technology.

“ouma!” his teacher desperately scolded him. “have you even began to write your notes?”

“of course i have! or was that a lie? i guess we’ll have to let my exam score clarify that one, hehe!” he heard a muffled giggle from shuichi.

shuichi finished writing his notes relatively quicker than all the other students and was left with time to reflect on kokichi’s behaviour. the purple-haired boy was a really confusing person to be around. shuichi was already horrible at understanding social cues, sarcasm and jokes of a similar nature. he couldn’t tell if kokichi was an extremely good liar, or just plainly honest. though, judging by the teacher’s reaction to a pair of literal woking, sharp, deadly scissors being thrown across the room as if it was a normal monday occurrence, and the students’ relieved sighs when kokichi would finally shut up, shuichi made an educated guess that it was the former. shuichi wished for an ideal world where no one was allowed to lie; social psychology and lies were definitely not his strong area. letting his eyes drift over to kokichi, shuichi finally got a chance to properly pay attention to him. kokichi had relatively long purple hair, which only seemed short due to the meticulous styling of pointed sections. shuichi appreciated the effort it must take every morning. kokichi wore long earrings: two thin silver chains which connected each to a small dice at around his jawline level. seeming to almost swallow him, kokichi wore a comically oversized pastel hoodie which was tucked into black and white checkered trousers. his waist pinched by a simple black belt with a small chain around the side of his thigh. shuichi noticed they had very similar tastes in fashion.

before shuichi could finish his thoughts on kokichi, the teacher brought the attention back to herself and the lesson.

“as i promised before we split up for the holiday, today our lesson will mostly be a debate. the topic is not limited to history, i just want to focus on your argumentative skills for essay writing before we move on to knowledge skills. decide now what your approach will be, i will pick on someone to state their opinion after which anyone can decide to agree or disagree. you have five minutes.”

“so… saihara-chan! what will your approach be?” kokichi showed genuine interest, despite only wanting to analyse shuichi further. he was interesting and fun. exactly what kokichi liked.

“i’ve always been a more defensive person, but i guess for this sort of task i’ll have to be on the offense. unless i’m chosen to state an opinion. what about you?”

“i prefer a flirt-with-them-until-we-make-out approach to arguments! always very fun, and never boring. i hate boring things. or is that a lie? you’ll never know!”

“you never give straight answers, do you?” shuichi spoke lightly, no malice behind his words. in fact, he seemed to be smiling.

“how do you know i’ve been lying, you just decided that! i might have been telling the truth! you wound me, saihara-chan.” he fake-pouted.

the teacher quickly wrapped up conversations after a few minutes and asked a girl in the class to state her opinion. 

“chocolate ice cream is disgusting.” the teacher laughed lightly at her consideration of a ‘controversial statement’, and the rest of the class had mixed reactions. kokichi immediately raised his hand.

“yes, ouma?”

“well you see. though i don’t necessarily disagree with tsumugi over there, i think she’s failed to consider a critical point in her argument. firstly, no one here has enough knowledge to make an opinion on the taste of ice cream. after all, we have only tasted our cheap factory version of ice cream, not authentic ice cream from italy! for all we know, chocolate ice cream could be heaven on earth in italy and we would never know! so, that’s one thing she hasn’t considered. secondly, she has completely dismissed all other flavours! i don’t know, seems a bit bigoted to me. why openly hate on chocolate ice cream and not say anything about the repulsive taste of mint chocolate chip ice cream? or vanilla ice cream? or, in fact, any ice cream that isn’t salted caramel or grape flavoured! it’s honestly disgraceful that she would even-”

“my god dude shut up we get it!” a boy’s voice came from a seat near tsumugi.

“you’re just mad i have more ice cream knowledge than you!” kokichi sneered.

“that’s enough from ouma and shinguji. saihara, what do you think of ouma’s retaliation?”

“kokichi seems quite hypocritical. he has also failed to consider important things. perception is altered a lot by environmental factors, if someone grows up eating food from a place, that will always be their standard and point of comparison. it’s perfectly reasonable for tsumugi to say her opinion on the food she has grown accustomed to. i also agree with kokichi though, you shouldn’t form opinions on any topic unless you have experienced it how it was intended to have been experienced.”

kokichi smirked. shuichi had decided to play along with kokichi's exaggerated argument, finding it rather funny himself. looking very pleased with himself, kokichi started giggling as tsumugi rolled her eyes at the two.

“you understood my joke, hm?” kokichi smiled.

“of course i did. don’t underestimate the emo boy, ouma.”

the debate continued, shuichi and kokichi’s beginning remarks had gone unnoticed and ignored as everyone settled for more basic arguments which kokichi could only laugh at. the second the debate finished, kokichi jumped up happily.

“it’s been a pleasure, lovely saihara-chan, but i’m afraid my extremely evil organisation needs me to organise their very evil crimes.” kokichi flashed him a grin and added a little wink as a bonus, disappearing quickly into the crowded halls towards his dorm’s direction.

‘ah but that was a lie, wasn’t it, ouma?’ the thought didn’t leave shuichi’s lips, but lingered in his mind. he smiled to himself, and walked back to his own room.

the next day came quickly and kokichi found himself sat next to the blueberry emo boy again. shuichi had this determined aura surrounding him, which stunted kokichi a bit. what was the boy planning? shaking off the curiosity, kokichi took out his stationary from his bag and leaned back into his chair, crossing his legs. 

“so… ouma. tell me a bit about yourself?”

there it was. the dealbreaker. kokichi hated when he was getting along beautifully with people, only for it to be ruined by them trying to get to know him. it was boring, annoying and unnecessary. not to mention he was kokichi ouma, the super mysterious trickster, for a reason! he could hardly go around opening up to everyone he met. he decided to go with his go-to lie, for simplicity. 

“i’m the leader of a secret evil organisation with 10,000 members, we kill for fun.” kokichi spoke completely blankly and calmly, as if it was just some boring fact, “how about you, mister no school?”

“ouma, i heavily doubt that you’re the leader of such an organisation.” shuichi gave him yet another deadpanned expression, as kokichi simply grinned. shuichi wasn't stupid; he knew kokichi was deflecting all the questions back onto him, and it was beginning to annoy him. regardless, he should've known understanding the school's certified liar wouldn't be very easy.

“my, my, saihara-chan! are you doubting me? you’re so mean, maybe you’re the evil leader!” kokichi thanked his elementary school level drama classes for teaching him how to fake cry as he began sobbing.

“oh. fuck. uh. ouma? ouma i was joking i’m sorry-” shuichi’s panicked expression faded into confusion as kokichi immediately stopped crying.

“oh! it’s okay then since saihara-chan apologised!” he wiped at the fake tears that had dripped onto his cheeks as if nothing had happened, and shuichi began to wonder what other insane tricks he would pull next.

“um… anyway. seriously, tell me about yourself. what else do you study? what type of person are you?”

“i already told you i’m an evil supreme leader! you’re so silly saihara-chan! but enough about me, what about you? you know, you sound a lot like a detective! your voice has this… professional tone to it when you ask questions. it’s almost like you’re…” kokichi paused for dramatic effect and opened his mouth in faked shock, “are you an underground cop that’s found out about my murder last saturday? listen, i can explain…”

shuichi let out a desperate sigh. usually he would have found that funny, but his patience was beginning to run thin. maybe getting information out of kokichi would not be as simple as he thought. he gave up, deciding to not use his energy on something he knew wouldn’t work. he would just have to figure kokichi out on his own, if he really wanted to.

“saihara-chan let’s play a game!”

“what game?”

“i’ll ask you questions and you have to answer! you can lie if you want, but you’ll never successfully lie to me hehe!” kokichi paused to make sure shuichi had agreed, “okay, first up! if you had to murder someone how would you do it?”

“jesus that’s a uh.. heavy question?” shuichi rubbed his temples in an attempt to ease his headache from the purple-haired boy’s volume, “i guess i would - if i had access to one - use a gun so they died quickly and didn’t suffer as much.”

“oh, nice considerate approach! as for me, i would kill them with my sexy looks!”

“has anyone told you how stupid you are?” shuichi asked, giggling a bit.

“multiple times. they’re just jealous. anyway! next question what’s your biggest fear?”

“if you mean a physical thing then i really hate bugs… but if you mean a more psychological fear i’m scared of hurting people.” shuichi realised he may have gone a bit deeper than kokichi had intended and lightly laughed it off.

“oh you’ve got trauma, i can tell.”

“um… thanks?” shuichi seemed slightly unsure how to respond, awkwardly laughing kokichi’s remark away. if it had been anyone else, shuichi was sure they would have been offended by kokichi’s comment, but shuichi really didn’t mind very much.

the conversation didn’t resume after that, shuichi decided he should probably try to get some work done. scrunching his eyebrows in concentration, he had picked back up on reading over his notes and answering some questions they had been told to do. the two sat there, in silence, until the lesson finished.

when it finished, shuichi spoke a soft ‘bye, see you tomorrow’ to kokichi, and kokichi overcompensated as usual by yelling loudly.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically just some kokichi and rantaro bonding time

as the next day suddenly appeared, kokichi realised the highlight of his days had become getting to spend time with the mysterious shuichi. he enjoyed their little game. they chased after each other teasingly, never letting the other get close enough to bite but just close enough to poke at each other. maybe he had poked a bit too hard the previous day, but kokichi was sure shuichi would have gotten over it.

“saihara-chan!” kokichi yapped in exaggerated happiness at the sight of the blueberry boy. he dropped his bag next to his chair and jumped up and down, looking at shuichi like a puppy. with shuichi sat down and kokichi standing up, kokichi was only slightly taller still. he pushed the thought away bitterly.

“hey, ouma.” shuichi gave him a soft smile back. “i think i owe you an apology for yesterday, i kinda tensed up because of something but i left you in the dark and i apologise for that… hopefully you’re not mad?”

“oh no saihara-chan, i am incredibly angry. very pissed.” when he realised shuichi had almost literally trembled in fear, kokichi corrected himself: “that was a lie! maybe.”

“oh, um…”

kokichi pulled his chair back, ignoring the god-awful sound it made as it dragged across the carpet, and sat down on the edge of it. he stuck his head under shuichi’s chin, comically inspecting the notes shuichi had sprawled over his desk. softly, shuichi’s quiet breaths tickled the back of kokichi’s head.

“well done, saihara-chan! these are of sufficient quality for me.”

“i didn’t make them for you specifically…”

kokichi didn’t reply, he just gave a sly grin and moved back into his own space. pulling out a sad excuse of a pencil case and ripped notebook, he rested his chin on his hands.

“this is so boring saihara-chan… can we play a game again?” kokichi tried to flutter his eyelashes convincingly, which only made shuichi laugh in second-hand embarrassment.

“sure, ouma.”

“good! i really really really! want to get to know you! so tell me about yourself.”

shuichi noted that kokichi hated talking about himself (honestly, at least) but was always overly interested in other people. he couldn’t understand why this was, but he believed it was one of two reasons: either kokichi genuinely wanted to create close friendships but hated the vulnerability that came with it, or he was just trying to exploit those around him for entertainment and discard them later with no consequences. actually, shuichi noted it was most likely a mixture of the two. he probably should be cautious with kokichi and how much he talked around him, but he couldn’t be mean and leave kokichi with nothing either. so, he talked a bit.

“well, my birthday is september 7th. that makes me a virgo, if it matters. i attended a normal elementary school until a few years ago, but i was away from school until now. i’ve always been really nerdy so i guess it didn’t affect me much, and i’ve never been one for socialising anyway.”

“that’s pretty interesting. you know, you’re less boring than you look.”

“i don’t know if that was a compliment or an insult.”

“oh definitely a compliment. i hate boring people!” kokichi huffed in frustration, shuichi couldn’t help but laugh. “stop laughing at me! anyway… tell me about your family! any friends, too?”

“i was never really close to my parents. they’re both quite famous and have high-status jobs so i didn’t see them much; my uncle and aunt brought me up instead. that’s about it for family, i guess. i don’t have many friends yet. i have a few close friends from my old school which i still keep in contact with. a guy named kiibo, a guy named kaito and a girl named maki.”

kokichi noticed something odd in the way shuichi spoke about his friends. he talked about them as if they were far away memories, something he would never get back. but he had explicitly said he had kept in contact with them, so it had really peaked kokichi’s interest. just what had happened between shuichi and his friends, and was that linked to him leaving school? 

“but anyway, can i at least get some sort of hint at something about you? you’re not slick trying to avoid personal questions, ouma.” shuichi didn’t mean harm in his words, teasing kokichi just as friends would.

“fine. since you’ve been so co-operative today, i’ll give you a crucial hint! i am very different to what people expect me to be, and my personality varies a lot depending on who i’m with! oh but i’m joking, that was just a lie! i’m really just a dick.”

“you’re not lying, ouma. thank you.”

kokichi didn’t respond, and his lips pressed into a thin line. he grinned.

“see! no one ever believes me.”

their conversation had been the only important development in that lesson. their chasing game had started to become increasingly fun. shuichi had begun to understand kokichi’s timing: his pounces, his fleeing, his scratches. it was all like his own language, and shuichi’s fingertips were itching in eagerness to decipher and learn every word. it was like the cases shuichi used to work on with his uncle, except more interesting. the interest was mutual, he could rest assured; kokichi was equally as curious about shuichi’s defensive wall and timid pokes, and he swore he would put in all his effort to figure him out. at first, kokichi’s only goal in talking to shuichi had been to entertain himself for a little longer. but, as time went by, he started to take an interest in the raven-haired boy and his mysterious story. he was hiding something about his past, and kokichi needed to know what it was. at any cost.

kokichi couldn’t lie, the thought of someone actively trying to understand him terrified him to the core. his biggest wish was for someone to put effort in to push past the outer wall he had constructed: the fake personality he had adopted. he wanted someone who could see past him, look straight through the wall as if it were transparent and knock it down. he wanted that person to accept both sides to him as, well, aspects of his personality. he wanted to feel special and important enough for someone to place that effort in. but with that yearning came fear. kokichi had never let someone even begin to try to solve all the puzzles that made him, and the thought that someone might actually one day unravel his carefully crafted web of lies and the solid brick walls he had built was mortifying. ignorance had always been kokichi’s favourite coping mechanism. he had always pushed this conflict as deeply into the depths of his subconscious as he could, ignoring that he’d one day have to face it. and he planned on continuing to do just that.

as if nothing different had happened, he locked the key to his worries and threw it in the deepest part of his mind. he gave shuichi a charismatic wave, and breezed past all the students in the classroom. it was at times like these, when his thoughts became rampant, that he needed a certain person to turn to for a distraction.

he practically skipped back to his dorm, happy to see this person again after an extremely dragged out lecture about germany in 1918. bubbling, his hand eagerly grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, throwing the door open.

“taro-chan!” 

a pale-green haired boy turned his gaze from his laptop screen to kokichi. removing the laptop from his lap and placing it onto the coffee table in the living room, he removed his feet from the sofa to make space for kokichi.

“hey, kokichi. how was your lesson?” rantaro’s voice was like a firm dam, always stopping kokichi’s thoughts from overflowing and exploding, while calmly yet firmly reassuring him.

“taro-chan it was so boring, honestly! we already studied all this last year, i don’t understand why we have to do it again.” kokichi huffed and pouted. he threw his bags on the floor, closed the door, and flopped down on the sofa next to rantaro.

rantaro chuckled quietly and ruffled kokichi’s hair, messing up all the careful styling he had done earlier in the morning.

“what was that for! you’re too mean.” rantaro repeated his action, much to kokichi’s discontent.

“anyway, what are you doing in history again? i sorta forgot, haha...”

“stupid old germany. i mean don’t get me wrong i love the topic but god we’ve repeated it so many times i’m starting to think i actually lived it!” kokichi used the tips of his feet to pull his shoes off, kicking them towards the door where his bag was. “what did taro-chan do today?”

“not much? i don’t have any classes today so i just focused on a few english literature essays i have due in next week. othello is kicking my ass.” rantaro sighed as he spoke, and kokichi could sense the stress.

“you seem really stressed out, serves you right for always messing my hair up! you’re so annoying, i can’t stand you!”

“oh boy, your lies are on fire today. did something happen?” 

kokichi could never get anything past rantaro. the two had been friends for almost their entire lives, rantaro knew kokichi before kokichi even began acting the way he does. he didn’t always lie to everyone about little things, he wasn’t always so infuriating. perhaps it was because rantaro knew kokichi before he built his walls, that it was practically impossible to get away with any lies around him. kokichi smiled defeatedly. it was nice to have a friend, sometimes.

“i have no idea what you mean taro-chan, because i am absolutely wonderful and do not understand where this concern is coming from. maybe you’re just caught off guard by how incredible the art of lying is, hm?” kokichi joked.

“alright, i get it, kokichi. you don’t have to talk. do you wanna just watch some anime? or eat some snacks?”

kokichi didn’t have to respond. rantaro stood up just as quickly as he finished his sentence, and started to make himself more comfortable to cook. he took off a few bracelets that were hugging his wrists, rolled up the sleeves of his ash grey hoodie, and then placed the removed bracelets on shelves as he made his way to the kitchen. the kitchen and living room were not separated by a wall: the kitchen was relatively small and the only separation was a line of counters.

“popcorn or skittles, kokichi?” he called out.

“both! in the same bowl!”

why had he even bothered to ask… rantaro finished up the ‘snack bowl’ for kokichi and rejoined him on the sofa. they turned on their favourite shows and unwinded together, relaxing and joking far into the evening. 

kokichi woke up the next day feeling slightly tired. the two had stayed up very late watching all their favourite shows and messing around. rantaro ended up venting shortly about his overload of school work, too. 

as kokichi approached his history classroom once again, he tried to forget about the dull ache in his head from his lack of sleep and rushed in to greet shuichi.

“good morning, saihara-chan!” he basically jumped into his seat next to shuichi, giving him a closed-eye smile.

“good morning, ouma. did you have a good night?”

“actually, it was terrible. i hooked up with some guy and god it was just the absolute worst sex i’ve ever had. and he even refused to cook me any nice food. i really hate him.”

shuichi shot kokichi a very nervous look, eyebrows scrunched up in a mixture of discomfort, disbelief, and disgust.

“you don’t need to give me that look, saihara-chan! i was lying, of course. i only hook up with the best guys.”

“ouma, please, it’s ten in the morning let’s not talk about sex, alright?” shuichi let out an exasperated sigh and started to rub his temples in circle motions, visibly annoyed at kokichi.

“i didn’t know you were so grumpy in the morning…” kokichi grumbled in fake anger.”but anyways… you didn’t finish telling me about yourself, i wanna hear more!”

“um, there’s not really much else to say, to be honest.”

but kokichi knew that was a lie. he hadn’t taken shuichi as the lying type; he must be trying to hide something massive if he keeps refusing to talk about himself. but then again, could kokichi judge him for that?

“fine. if you wanna be boring, be boring then! not talking to you today.” kokichi puffed his cheeks out and crossed his arms, like a little child who was just denied some sweets. shuichi decided to ignore him.

the lesson went inexcusably boring that day. kokichi would twiddle his pen around in his hands, spinning it around his thumb, flicking it at shuichi (much to his annoyance), and sometimes using it to pick at the black nail polish he had painted on the night before with rantaro. his leg was bouncing practically the entire lesson, and his eyes were darting around to basically any interesting object he could find. at one point, he fixed his eyes on the clock at the front of the classroom and began inventing insane stories in his head about time: he imagined a little group of people creating the concept of time and arguing over one of them stupidly suggesting to call parts of a clock ‘hands’, he imagined what would happen if one day time just broke and it started going slower or quicker or irregularly, he even imagined small creatures who lived inside clocks and kept them working and what would happen if they fell ill (maybe that was the explanation for ‘dead batteries’, kokichi concluded). he was so bored he thought his entire body was going to melt in boredom. or at least, that was until his teacher revealed something which made him very excited.

“to consolidate the knowledge we have learned so far, i want you to work with the person next to you over the weekend to create a mastersheet of revision for this topic. it can be in any format, as long as it has the details needed. i want this handed in for proof on tuesday.”

kokichi gasped comically and threw his arms around shuichi.

“oh my god did you hear that, saihara-chan! we’re working together on the weekend! i was about to fall asleep too, today was so boring, but that’s just made up for it all!” he joked, as shuichi awkwardly laughed.

“yeah, yeah, sure. we can work together if you want. how do you wanna do this? you can come over to my dorm if you want, i live on my own, or we can go to yours?”

“i don’t trust saihara-chan to take me to his dorm, especially since he lives alone! what kind of stuff are you planning… let’s go to mine instead, my roommate can cook us some nice food too.” kokichi threw an accusation at shuichi to hide the fact that being alone with anyone he didn’t know didn’t terrify him. shuichi seemed to buy it.

“haha, sure, if that’s what you want. but i wasn’t going to do anything, ouma.”

“one can never be too sure!”

“also, i might be sorta busy tomorrow because some of my friends and i are planning to meet up and catch up, so is it okay if we get started after this lesson? to make up for lost time.”

kokichi quickly agreed with shuichi’s plan. they used the remaining fifteen minutes of the lesson to plan how they were going to create their revision sheet, and what they would include, as well as splitting up responsibilities between them. kokichi noted that though shuichi was quite shy and awkward, he was oddly assertive and seemed to be a natural leader. he knew exactly what to assign to who and how to make the project more organised. it fascinated kokichi, to know that there was so much he didn’t know about shuichi yet. after they finished their preparations, their teacher shooed them all out of the classroom.

“my dorm isn’t very far away, don’t worry!”

kokichi was swinging his arms childishly as he walked, as if he was imitating flying or marching, with a slight bounce in his step. shuichi thought this was a perfect reflection of his personality, and laughed a little. he struggled to keep up with kokichi, as he walked just as quickly as he spoke, but with occasional little runs and speedwalking he managed it. as they walked, kokichi rambled about the stupidest things. if shuichi was being totally honest, most of it flew straight past his brain. it was something about aliens having colonised humans, or something of the sort, and kokichi didn’t give up the topic until he was sure he’d converted shuichi into believing his theory.

before either of them realised it, they were stood outside the dorm building kokichi lived in. kokichi led shuichi up a flight of stairs and down a clean corridor, to stand outside a door with the label ‘A37’ written on it. knocking on the door happily, kokichi called out to his roommate.

“taro-chan! it’s me, and i’ve brought a guest so please be decent before you open this damn door!” shuichi couldn’t help but laugh at the thought that some sort of incident must have happened to warrant such a warning from kokichi.

a few seconds later, the door opened. shuichi fell into a fit of coughs, and kokichi stared at him strangely.

“saihara-chan? why are you coughing like that, did taro-chan’s good looks really affect you that much? your standards must be really low.”

“ah, no, it’s nothing like that… sorry.” shuichi scrambled to cover up his coughs and pushed past rantaro and kokichi, avoiding both of their gazes. kokichi looked at rantaro for an answer, and he was surprised to find a completely blank look on his face. not even a flirtatious look, or a humoured look, or even a worried look at the boy who had practically choked on his own tongue right in front of them. it was peculiar, very very peculiar, and kokichi wasn’t sure how to react.

“sorry about saihara-chan! maybe he’s just never met anyone other than me before and is a little weirded out, you see, he’s sort of an emo loner.”

“i am not an emo! or a loner! i have perfectly fine friends thank you very much, ouma. rather than discussing my social life, shouldn’t we actually work on our project?”

kokichi placed a finger on his lips, pretending to think. “you’re right! let’s go to the table. oh and taro-chan, do you mind making me and saihara-chan some food? anything will do!”

“ah, that really isn’t necessary, rantaro. i’m not hungry.”

“it’s alright, kokichi always makes me make food anyway. honestly, he really should stop relying on me so much. i’ll just make you both some coffee, if that’s alright.”

“yeah, of course, that’s okay.” shuichi thanked rantaro.

kokichi could only wonder what was behind the two's strange reactions to each other.


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shuichi and rantaro act weird, shuichi meets with his friends and a certain someone starts a harmless prank

kokichi quickly realised that shuichi’s thoughts were not at all centered around their project.

every time rantaro would even spare a simple glance towards the two, shuichi would flinch and shake ever so slightly. his eyes avoided rantaro’s like the plague, and his body was so firm against kokichi’s side that he thought shuichi would crack into pieces at any second. rantaro would also avoid shuichi. he told the pair that he would be in his room, finishing his othello essay, but kokichi knew for a fact that rantaro had finished in the night before. something was incredibly, awfully wrong and it was making kokichi’s very soul itch.

kokichi could have easily pressured shuichi on answers, but he knew it wasn’t the wise thing to do. shuichi had already shown discomfort around being honest at times, and if kokichi pushed him even one step past his limit he could potentially lose shuichi. he would never want that, he would get so bored. he figured he could try to pressure rantaro, instead, once shuichi left.

in order to do that, kokichi needed to observe.

“give me one second, saihara-chan, taro-chan is being extremely rude right now and i would like him to spend some time with us.” kokichi jumped up eagerly from his spot on the floor and ran to rantaro’s door. he knocked exactly five times, loudly.

“what is it, kokichi?” 

“taro-chan,” he dragged out the name in a cute manner, “me and saihara-chan want to play uno with you! we’ve done so much work we deserve a break, don’t we?”  
the door opened, and rantaro gave kokichi a tired smile.

“sure, kokichi. i’ll be out in a second. you can go ahead and set it up for us.”

kokichi giggled and sprinted back to shuichi. he grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him up.

“saihara-chan! we’re gonna play uno with taro-chan!”

“ah…” shuichi darted his eyes around nervously, “that sounds fun, ouma.”

kokichi didn’t bother to point out how awful shuichi was at lying. ignoring the strange attitude, kokichi nearly tripped over himself in an attempt to run to the cabinet they kept all their games in. he grabbed onto the handle last second, saving himself from a potentially very embarrassing fall. shuichi was smiling at him, finding the entire series of events rather funny. 

while kokichi was busy handing out 7 cards to three different spots on the clear coffee table, shuichi moved pillows around and set them up on the floor so the three of them could sit comfortably. he took his own seat next to kokichi, and started shuffling through his cards.

“ouma, did you look at the cards when you handed them out?”

“of course not!”

before shuichi could laugh at ouma’s (definitely well hidden) cheating, a low voice came from his left.

“hey, sorry i took a while. i had to fix my hair up a bit since it got all messed up from my nap. anyways, have you set everything up?” kokichi noted the use of the word ‘you’ rather than ‘you two’ or ‘you both’. rantaro wasn’t ignoring shuichi, but the little mannerisms kokichi was picking up on suggested that subconsciously, rantaro wished shuichi wasn’t there. 

“it’s okay, taro-chan! you can sit there, next to saihara-chan! he set the cushions up himself!”

you see, if kokichi had one talent, it would be being sneaky. while shuichi wasn’t looking, he changed the arrangement of the cushions on the floor so that rantaro would be forced to sit next to shuichi.

“ah… thanks, shuichi.” 

first names? that was the first thing that had surprised kokichi. rantaro used shuichi’s first name. 

“no problem, rantaro.”

rantaro? shuichi?

“um. anyway,” shuichi spoke up, noticing kokichi’s calculating glance, “who’s starting?”

the rest of the afternoon was made up of awkward glances, shuffles and an atmosphere so strange even kokichi was completely dumbfounded. after a few rounds of uno, he quickly realised the best thing to do was probably end the tension. he was getting quite bored of it.

“ahem, taro-chan, thank you for being such a good host for saihara-chan! i think i’m gonna walk him back to his dorm now, i think he might be getting tired soon.” happily as ever, he dragged shuichi out of the dorms and started practically forcing shuichi to walk by his side across the corridor, holding tightly onto his arm.

“ouma?”

“you’re so irresponsible, saihara-chan! we didn’t even do any of our project, i’m very mad.”

“okay… and why are you dragging me home? you know my arm is going to rip off at any second.”

“because…” kokichi dragged out the vowel in the word, whining, “it was getting boring! don’t think i didn’t realise you and taro-chan were basically at each other’s throats the entire time.”

the two continued bickering all the way to shuichi’s dorm. shuichi didn’t say a word about rantaro.

like shuichi had mentioned to kokichi, the next day was a quite exciting day for him. it wasn’t a school day, and he and his friends had all planned to meet up and catch up. they had all gone their separate ways after shuichi left school for the first time. he couldn’t lie, he really was starting to miss them.

he walked into the coffee shop they had arranged to meet at, and scanned the room in search of his friends. 

“shuichi!” called a soft voice, “we’re over here!”

shuichi recognised the voice as kiibo, and turned to face its direction. and, surely enough, the three familiar faces stood smiling at him. 

“hey kiibo! maki, kaito! i’ve really missed you guys…” shuichi let himself chuckle sheepishly while kiibo engulfed him into a hug and maki tried to calm down an overly excited kaito.

“dude! we’ve missed you so much! i know our circumstances and all that were a bit rough a few years ago, but i’m so glad we can meet again like this! leaving everything that’s meant to be in the past, in the past, you know?” kaito didn’t go for a hug, rather choosing a signature bro-fist.

“haha… yeah.” shuichi chose not to mention rantaro. “anyways, what have you guys been studying?”

“biology.” maki stated in her normal, matter-of-fact tone, but anyone who knew her could hear the warmth behind it. “decided to put my knowledge to use. kaito convinced me, actually.”

kaito nodded proudly.

“hell yeah! i told her she’d be amazing at it! and of course she is. gets at least 90s on all her exams. guess that’s what happens when you’re passionate about stuff. i decided to study engineering, seems like a safer route than anything i wanted when i was a kid.”

“i’m doing art, actually! i find the philosophy behind it especially interesting. i can show you some of my work one day if you want, shuichi!” kiibo added his own contribution, smiling shyly.

“of course, kiibo. i would love that.” shuichi gave them all a final smile before taking a seat next to kiibo, across from maki and kaito.

“we figured you’d be late so we ordered you your favourite, shuichi.” maki pointed at a cup of coffee on the table.

“hah. you still remember my coffee order?”

“of course we do. and i take it you still wear that hat?” 

shuichi gulped. he knew that maki knew that was a subject not to touch upon, but you can never get anything past maki.

“yeah. hard to let go of old memories, you know?”

“yeah, i get what you mean, i think we all wish we could go back to that year, don’t we?” kiibo interrupted maki, offering a more sympathetic word of advice to shuichi.

despite that one occurrence, shuichi’s day was quite normal for the most part. he and his friends messed around just like old times, running from store to store after kaito trying to make sure he hadn’t knocked anything - or anyone - over; ushering kiibo away from dangerous objects he was curious about; apologising to people on maki’s behalf when she bumped into them by accident; and shoving shuichi up to random counters to get him to ‘face his fear of socialising’. none of them listened to his pleads telling them he was most definitely not scared, and he just found it unpleasant. 

like this, hours and hours of shuichi’s day flew by. and, for the most part, they were very pleasant, normal hours.

but of course, shuichi could never go a full day without disturbances. because apparently, the entire universe was against him. or at least that’s how it seemed, when a short purple-haired boy walked up to him and his group of friends with a betrayed expression on his face.

“saihara-chan! you told me you were too busy to do your project today. is this what you were doing? i’m disappointed.”

“no, ouma, i told you i was going out with friends, remember…” shuichi sighed in anticipation of a tantrum from the boy.

“of course! i was lying about that, i came over to meet your friends! it’s important for you to introduce your boyfriend to people in your life, you know!” kokichi crossed his arms and pouted, and-

wait.

“boyfriend?” maki spoke. “shuichi, you have a boyfriend?”

“bro! why didn’t you tell us!” kaito whined.

kiibo simply laughed happily and rushed forward to meet kokichi. he extended a hand, waiting for kokichi to shake it. instead, kokichi chose to jump on him in a hug.

“never knew i’d meet someone who loved hugs as much as kiibo does.” maki joked.

“oh i don’t like hugs! i hate them actually!”

shuichi sighed, again. this was not going to be easy.

after explaining to his friends privately (after he sent kokichi to get some snacks for the four of them) that kokichi was a handful to deal with and that he was not, in fact, his boyfriend, the other three had begun to find it all rather amusing. specifically, they were excited to see how flustered shuichi would get every time kokichi threw in a lie about their relationship.

currently, shuichi was sat up with almost insanely perfect posture while kokichi was clinging to his side, holding his hand and playing with his thumb while going on and on about god knows what. shuichi honestly wasn’t paying much attention.

“ouma, can you please-”

“if you wanted a kiss you could have just said so!”

“ouma, no! i dont. want a kiss. now can you please get off me.” shuichi wasn’t mad, anyone with a working pair of eyes or ears could see that. it’s more like he was worried if kokichi continued any longer, his face might actually begin to develop burns from how red it was.

shuichi didn’t even want to think about how he was going to survive what little was left of the afternoon.


End file.
